


us against the world (you and me against them all)

by ballumschmallum



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ben Mitchell - Freeform, Ben Mitchell Loves Callum "Halfway" Highway, Callum Highway, Callum Highway loves Ben Mitchell, Fluff, M/M, ballum - Freeform, be warned there is angst!, ben and callum - Freeform, ben is struggling with his hearing impairment and callum swears to be by his side, the continuation of 28/02 that some people may have needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22979134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballumschmallum/pseuds/ballumschmallum
Summary: If Keanu did not hold Callum hostage, Ben may not have been on that boat party, unless it was with him but Ben would have been safe with him, he wouldn’t have hit his head so badly or at all and everything would be reasonably okay.But it wasn’t, far from it.But Callum had to focus on the here and now, and he was going to be there to support Ben in this very difficult and challenging journey. He was going to be there for the ride and was also going to be there for keeps. Callum was going to make sure of it.“I’m here now, everything is going to be alright,” Callum choked, his voice sounded very hoarse. “I promise you.”ORContinuation from the scene in 28/02/2020, where Callum promises that he will be there for Ben, providing his love and support, no matter what and Ben couldn't love this man anymore even if he tried.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 75





	us against the world (you and me against them all)

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think. I loved every minute of writing this angsty fic.
> 
> Inspiration for the title is from the song Us Against the World by Westlife..
> 
> My tumblr is @ballum-schmallum if you want to say hi!

He felt so alone, he felt more alone than what he had _ever_ been in his life. Not even being locked away in a prison cell behind thick metal bars or being jetted off away from South Africa to be with a family you hardly knew after your mother was forced to fake her death could beat this loneliness. It felt like he was in this thick round bubble and was being pulled away and shielded from the rest of the world and he couldn’t get back. It was like a mirror was stood firmly between him and the _outside_ world and he could not get through to that world, to be part of that world and all the _so called luxury_ he was getting was these very small signals that there was a world on the other side that knew he was there but they could not get through. Ben got dragged away from that world and he had no idea if he would _ever_ return to that normality again.

Ben was trapped, he felt suffocated and he had no idea how to escape. It was like Ben was in a dark cave and that cave was slowly closing in on him. His lungs started to feel claustrophobic as Ben found it hard to breath through his heavy sobbing and screams of heartbreak and anguish, wanting his senses to help him, all he wanted was a sign that he was going to get better, but he could feel _nothing_.

_Absolutely nothing._

**_Just the darkness._ **

Ben did not want to _live_ this newfound normality anymore. He was fed up, he was exhausted and desperate. The thought of nearly not being able to find Callum tore him apart and if he never saw Callum’s grandad’s medal on the filthy rubble flooring of the cold and deserted warehouse, he would have **_never_** been found, despite Callum’s breathless and desperate cries of help and shouting his name. The thought of that _terrified_ him and was sure to scar Ben for life. Callum could have been dead if it wasn’t for his grandad’s medal.

Ben had tried to convince Callum that he could do better than him once again, but he had already used that tactic before, and Ben should know by now that Callum is _not_ going to give up on him that easily.

In fact, Callum is **_never_** going to give up on Ben. Callum has proved that so many times now, right from the moment that they first started dating. Even if Ben cannot hear him, Callum would _always_ be two steps behind him.

Now that Ben has Callum back just like he desperately needed, he could not provide him with the comfort that he needed, it was more like the other way around. While Ben was trying to get his breath back but found it hard to as constant tears kept streaming down his cheeks and his lungs feeling tight as he tried to breath, he could feel Callum behind him with his hands on him, running his fingers through his hair, rubbing his shoulders and he could very vaguely hear the odd muffling word of Callum’s soothing words. How he was here now, and he was not going to go anywhere and how things were going to be okay.

If only Ben could believe that things were going to be okay himself.

No matter how hard he tried, Ben could not seem to stop the sobbing, could not stop the tears from flowing, the anguish cries rising through his throat and escaping his lips. He felt Callum place his hand at the side of his head and gently lift his head away from the pans that waited on the draining board. With Callum’s hand carefully placed over Ben’s left ear, the loud rumbling noises paused in that ear for a moment.

Ben found himself being pulled into Callum’s chest. As he sobbed, Ben desperately gripped onto the clasps of Callum’s grey hoody that smelt of him, clenching it tightly and squeezing his eyes firmly shut, wanting and forcing the tears to stop, thick raspy breaths leaving his mouth. Normally, Ben could hear Callum’s heartbeat, but he could only hear soft vibrations and he found that was slightly comforting.

Callum cradled Ben as he wrapped his arms tightly around him, gently swaying him from side to side, just like how they both would comfort Lexi if she was crying. Callum rubbed Ben’s back soothingly and rested his chin on top of Ben’s head and every now and then kiss his hair tenderly. As Callum comforted his love, he could feel his eyes being blinded by his own watery tears as he swallowed a huge lump in his throat.

Ben’s screams of anguish and devastation was breaking Callum’s heart, he had never seen Ben like this before and it sounded like he had been holding this in for _such a long time._ Ben really needed him and because of Keanu, he couldn’t be there for him and provide him the support that Ben so desperately craved. Well, it was most likely _because_ of Keanu that they are in this position now, standing in the middle of the kitchen, holding each other as Ben sobbed uncontrollably and Callum himself trying to fight back the tears.

If Keanu did not hold Callum hostage, Ben may not have been on that boat party, unless it was with him but Ben would have been safe with him, he wouldn’t have hit his head so badly or at all and everything would be reasonably okay.

But it wasn’t, _far_ from it.

But Callum had to _focus_ on the here and now, and he was going to be there to support Ben in this very difficult and challenging journey. He was going to be there for the ride and was also going to be there for keeps. Callum was going to make sure of it.

“I’m here now, everything is going to be alright,” Callum choked, his voice sounded very hoarse. “I promise you.” 

When Ben finally managed to compose himself and started to release slow and steady breaths, he sniffled as he gradually pulled himself away from Callum’s embrace. Callum slowly pulled his arms away, ensuring that Ben could hold himself upright again. Ben’s cheeks felt soaked due to the number of tears that came flooding out and when Ben blinked, he felt a stray tear flutter from his eyelash and drip down his cheek, like a raindrop sliding down a window.

Ben exhaled as he looked towards Callum who was looking back at Callum with concern drawn within his facial features.

“Sorry that you had to see that,” Ben sniffed as he wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. “I _really am_ a tough guy I promise.” He added playfully.

Callum tutted and shook his head slightly at Ben. “C’mere,” he mouthed, barely a whisper. He strided over to Ben and took his face within his huge hands, that could protect Ben from _anything._ Callum wiped Ben’s tears away with his thumbs, looking tenderly into Ben’s eyes, blue meeting blue.

“I bet this is the last thing you expected to ever wipe off me eh,” Ben quipped as he chuckled gingerly, trying to make light of the situation.

Callum scoffed light-heartedly as he looked at Ben with a soft expression, his hands soothingly rubbing on Ben’s shoulders. “You don’t _need_ to pretend with me Ben, you _should_ know that by now,” he stated to him, articulating each word to make it easier for Ben to lip read. “I know that you must be scared, I would be too. But I am here for you and I promise I am not going anywhere.” 

Ben’s bottom lip wobbled as he let out a sigh and leant up against the kitchen worktop, “I just feel so weak Callum,” he whimpered brokenly, looking away from Callum as he wiped away a few stray tears that started to fall again. “These last few days have been so hard. Keanu kidnapping you, me worrying and scared stiff for your safety, the constant fear that you won’t be alive and now _this._ ” 

Callum took hold of Ben’s hand and gently used his other hand to touch Ben’s cheek to get Ben to look at him.

“Ben, you are the bravest man I have ever met,” Callum stated sincerely, with nothing but love in his eyes. “I have always admired your courage. You have been through _so much_ already at your age, it’s astonishing how strong you have been through it all.”

Ben gave Callum a tiny smile. Callum removed his hand from Ben’s cheek and held Ben’s other hand, holding them tightly. “We _are_ going to get through this,” he stated firmly. “Together.”

The corners of Ben’s lips formed into a slightly bigger smile of admiration, as he shook his head fondly, “There’s really no getting rid of you is there?” He teased gently, “No matter how hard I try.”

Callum shrugged his shoulders and smiled innocently, “No can do I’m afraid. Now,” he started as he led Ben over to the kitchen table and sat them both down, moving their chairs close together so their knees are touching, their linked hands entwined in between them. “What have the hospital said about going forward?” He asked delicately. “What can be done?”

Ben sighed, “They can do an operation, _cochlear implants_. But there’s a risk that it wont work,” he said disgruntled.

Callum nodded his head as he processed this bit of information, “I’ve heard of those,” he acknowledged, looking briefly away from Ben.

Ben frowned slightly at Callum with his eyebrows slightly raised as he could not grasp what Callum had just said. When Callum looked back, he was greeted with that expression.

“Sorry,” Callum said instantly. “The operation _will_ work.” He said matter of factly, his eyes determinedly piercing into Ben’s.

Ben shrugged doubtfully and let out a soft sigh as he looked down at his and Callum’s entwined hands.

Callum’s lips pursued in thought. He let go of one of Ben’s hands and fumbled in his jean pocket. Ben watched Callum as he rummaged through his pocket and pulled out his grandfather’s medal. Callum looked up at Ben who was watching him closely.

“Take this,” Callum instructed and put the medal in Ben’s hand. “Stuart always said its for luck so now’s it’s chance for it to work it’s magic,” he instantly decided. “For every hospital appointment, for every operation, always carry this medal around with you for luck and to bring hope. I will also be there too. No matter what. I’ll come with you to any support group, hospital appointments, I’ll even learn the sign language…” He rambled on.

Ben smiled earnestly at Callum and interrupted him with a peck on his lips. When Ben pulled away, he looked down at the medal that was clasped in between his two fingers and stroked it with his thumb absentmindedly. He let out a sigh.

“I never gave up hope you know. Those days where I was looking for you, before the boat crash, going out of my mind. I kept the thought of you inside my head, the way you looked, the way you smell, the sound of your voice, the way I feel so _strongly_ about you, the memories we have shared and our future, that’s what kept me that tiny bit sane even though I was going mental at the world,” he admitted sheepishly. “It was the perfect distraction after the boat crash, I was so focused in finding you that I managed to escape from this reality. And now that I have you back, after everything, that voice of yours that I have been wanting to hear so badly, I can’t even _hear it_. I can’t even hear my little girl’s voice and I may never hear your voices _ever again_.” He said brokenly, his voice cracking as he let his shields down and laid everything out on the table. “And the thought of that breaks my heart. There’s no pain like it.”

Callum smiled sadly and touched Ben’s hand, putting his hand over his grandfather’s medal. He looked directly at Ben. “Once you have that operation and it helps with your hearing, trust me you will end up getting _sick_ of the sound of my voice and will wish that you never had the operation in the first place,” Callum said playfully, flashing him one of his radiant smiles that could light up any room and lights up Ben’s life _every day_.

Maybe that is what will keep Ben going - Callum’s smile. Callum will always be his bright shining light in this dark world of his that he just cannot seem to escape from, no matter how hard he tries.

Ben let out a soft chuckle, “I doubt that very much, babe.” He commented. He looked at Callum with devotion and tenderness. He sighed and shook his head affectionately, “What did I do to deserve you?” 

Callum started to blush and looked down, smiling shyly. When Callum looked back up, Ben’s piercing blue eyes were still burning into him, setting a warm fire in his heart.

Callum wanted to ask Ben about making another hospital appointment so they could discuss the next stages with the doctors, to make plans, but for now, that could wait. Ben needed Callum and to be quite frankly, Callum needed Ben too. They craved to be close to each other, after being apart for what felt like _forever_. They were both desperate for personal connection, that intimacy between just the two of them.

Callum glanced over to the other side of the kitchen and noticed the beers still standing firmly on the counter with the bottle opener laid out next to it and gulped.

Ben and Callum craved to be as close to each other as possible

Ben followed Callum’s eye line and smirked, “Oh you still fancy taking those beers upstairs do ya?” He teased.

Callum looked back at Ben and mirrored his smirk, “Well I could do with a lie down,” he responded coyly.

Ben raised his eyebrow playfully, “Even though I have just _snotted_ all over your top?” He challenged.

Callum’s face creased into a small grimace before he flashed Ben a cheeky grin. Callum leaned forward and captured Ben’s lips in a hard kiss, biting his lip gently as he pulled away. Callum pulled away from him just enough for Ben to be able to read his lips still.

“ _In a heartbeat_ ,” he reciprocated.

*/*/*/*/

The day was starting to fade now as the bedroom started to cover itself with darker tones to illuminate that night-time was going to be setting in soon. The bedroom floor was scattered with items of clothing as the couple sat up in bed sipping on beers, devouring the blissful aftermath of their lovemaking. Between sips of beer and soft laughter and small talk, there was also gentle and affectionate kisses exchanged between the two of them.

_This was their world. Their blissful oblivion._

“Do you remember that one time when you thought it was a good idea to put drizzles of beer on my body and licked it off me?” Callum smirked, lifting his bottle of beer up in Ben’s eye line as a gesture while Ben also watched Callum’s lip movements.

Ben huffed out a laugh, “Yes, I do. We had to change the bed as it just _stunk_ of beer,” he said as he put his beer bottle on the bedside table.

Callum’s eyes widened in mock disbelief as he waited for Ben to turn back to face him, “More like I changed the bed, you just sat out in the living room and watched the telly,” he chastised.

Ben smirked, licking his lips. It sounded so domesticated and he _loved_ it. He shuffled closer to Callum and snuggled into his side. He planted a subtle kiss on Callum’s chest as Callum ran his fingers through Ben’s hair.

“Stay with me,” Ben asked vulnerably, but it sounded more like a command. Callum gave a smile and nodded his head as his chin rested on top of Ben’s head. Ben felt the movement and smiled softly.

Callum shifted his own body to put his beer bottle down and hissed in pain, clenching his side. Ben immediately sat up and his face was painted with concern.

“Are you okay?” He asked, panicked.

Callum nodded his head at Ben, “Yes I’m fine,” he assured him. “The meds must be waring off. I will need to head back to mine to get my medication and a few things and will come back here.”

“Okay,” Ben said hoarsely. He hated seeing Callum in agonising pain and he is the reason that he is like this.

Callum quickly noticed Ben’s change in facial expression that was now filled with guilt. Callum immediately put his hand to rest his hand on Ben’s cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “ ** _Not_** your fault, ok?”

Ben gave a weak smile.

“Do you want to come with?” Callum asked, changing the subject. “Bit of fresh air? I’ll look after you.”

“No I’ll stay here and wait for you,” Ben told him. “Because if your brother is home, I am **_not_** playing another game of charades with him.”

Callum snorted, “What?” Then it clicked, “Oh no. Ben I am so sorry!” He said apologetically. Callum felt terrible for his brother’s actions. He knew that Stuart was trying in his own way.

Ben huffed out a laugh, “It’s alright, it was quite funny if you think about it.”

Callum laid back against the pillows and pulled Ben down with him, resting Ben on his chest as he kissed his hair and stroked his back up and down absentmindedly, sending sparks of warm electricity up Ben’s spine. They were laying there in a comfortable silence just embracing the feel of each other.

“Here,” Ben spoke quietly after a while. Callum frowned in confusion as he watched Ben take hold of his hand with the palm upright. Ben slowly started to draw a love heart on Callum’s palm. Callum quirked his eyebrow but smiled fondly as he looked down at Ben.

“I know I have not said it to you yet, but you know how I feel about you. It’s not like I try to hide it these days is it?” Ben said. “I cannot begin to describe how strongly I feel about you Callum and I feel horrible about this but I’m just not ready to say it out loud yet. I do feel the same about you Callum, I do, and I will say it to you I promise, but just not yet. I’m scared to, encase I lose you.”

Callum smiled as he caressed Ben’s cheek, “I know Ben, I know how you feel. You don’t have to explain to me. But just so _you_ know, I promise that I’m not going to leave you. Not now, not ever. You deserve to be loved Ben and if you let me, I will keep reminding you every day. And when you are ready, I will welcome it and will say it back.”

“I really don’t deserve you Callum Highway,” Ben smiled up at him affectionately, his voice thick with emotion. After everything, he felt so lucky and grateful to have this amazing man in his life who has showed him nothing but love, affection and support.

“Yes you do,” Callum said, frankly. Because Ben did deserve Callum’s love and guidance. Callum stroked Ben’s cheek attentively, “Us against the world, yeah?”

Ben felt a lump in his throat that he quickly swallowed before he was overcome with even more emotion. He nodded his head smiling warmly, his blue eyes sparking under the light of the moon that was edging its way through the curtains. 

Ben shifted and nuzzled his face into Callum’s neck, planting a tender kiss and inhaled his scent like it was an addiction that overpowered him. Callum was here and he was not going to go anywhere. Callum loved Ben unconditionally and Ben loved Callum just as much. Soon, he promised himself and quietly to Callum, that he would tell him properly, how he felt. How he truly and properly felt.

But Ben knew, by taking it each day at a time, taking it step by step and with Callum by his side, things were going to turn out okay in the end. As long as Callum was in his world, things were going to be okay.


End file.
